I'm scared. I'll admit it. (and this is kind of a ramble so maybe you should be scared too...)

The sequel to Moonlit - currently dubbed Windswept - is in my publisher's hands for the final stages in the pre-release process: type setting, layout, cover design, etc. This means I'm free to begin work on Book #3. I'm about 20K words in, and this is where I admit I'm a little scared. There's this big BIG moment in book #3 that I can see so clearly... "crystal" as Jayce would say. But first I have to get there. Me and Tanzy and Lucas and Hope and Vanessa and Asher and Jayce and a whole cast of fellow candidates who you haven't even met yet all have to get there. It's like herding cats.

I learned a ton during the drafting and revision processes for the sequel. Most importantly, I learned when to look at a section of my writing and realize: there's a big problem here. This is not right. And I realized, for the way I work at least, a real fix comes in stages. It's like archeology, an analogy Stephen King uses in describing how he unearths his plots. In my case, it's how I fix pacing/tone issues in a chapter. One gentle fix reveals more bone, more of the picture - and more of the holes in the picture. Then again, maybe it's better to say it's like surgery. There is an awful lot of bleeding and cursing, and I envision an archeologist to be the subtle, whispery type.

Anyways, what scares me is how much of this first draft of book #3 is not going to make it into book #3. Of course right now it feels like all of it will - the major plot points, anyway, but I know that's not true. In book #2, the early drafts had a ferry boat, a tidal wave, a funeral, a truck plummeting to the bottom of the ocean with two major characters inside, a trip back to Kentucky, this scene where new character Jayce lines up little figurines on all the window sills that I freaking LOVED, and lots of explosions. None of those plot points made it into the final draft. I lied - there are still some explosions, but they're in different places.

Some scenes/sections I cut early on, and some I clung to like a mother to her baby. Until I sent the I-think-I'm-Really-Finished draft to my beta readers and they didn't coo where I was sure I'd have them near tears, holding their breath. In fact, they reacted to a few of my favorite moments like one might react to, say, a poopy diaper. And they were right.

Have you ever had a whole "darling" of a chapter (referencing the "kill your darlings" rule here)? How about a couple chapters... how about a 40K word section of "darling"? Welcome to the 8th draft of Windswept.

So now I'm beginning the very first draft of Book #3, and it is by far the most complex of the three books. And I want it to deliver. I want it to tie up every thread I've woven into this web. And I'd really really like to get it right on the first couple shots. HA. Never going to happen.

I'm a subscriber to Anne Lamott's idea of a "stinky" first draft. (She uses a different word beginning with S, something that can be found in the aforementioned diaper, and never smells like roses...) A first draft helps me see how I think this is all going to play out. It makes me see if the I can get to the last page with the ideas from the first page still intact. I'm not big on big outlines. I have a few key moments I want to incorporate if the characters arrive in the situation where the moment would apply, but otherwise I like to turn them loose and see what happens. Downsides: this means I stare at my computer screen a lot, knuckles buried in my cheeks, and force my brain to stop editing the line above so I can see what's coming next in the plot. It also means I spend more time on my drafts (at least I think it does,) and it definitely means I cut. A lot.

So here we are. And I'm scared. I don't want to stare and sweat and bleed all over this new draft just to cut 99% of my work like it never happened. It can be paralyzing, sometimes. But it's part of the process. I will no doubt do this every time. Every book. The funny part is that I still love those times where I glare at my screen all morning with no progress. In fact, I find I'm most intolerable to the outside world following a particularly lackluster drafting session because I can't wait to do it again.

I'm terrified, and I'm excited (and I'm writing this blog post because I'm totally stalling because another character wants a POV in book three and I told her we'd talk about it in a little bit...)

So, now that I'm sure you're sure I'm crazy, tell me what - if anything - scares you about the writing process?

What it sounds like in my head during "official" edits

Quick update: we just finished content, or "overview" edits of the Moonlit sequel, which is currently called "Windswept." That means the plot for the sequel is pretty much set in stone (sqquueee!!!) and that we're moving on to inline edits, where my editor comes after my sentence structure and word choices like they owe her something. And, in fact, they do. She makes sure every word, every sentence, deserves a place on the page once they're finally printed.

In my head, the whole content editing process sounds something like this:

1. Right after I've submitted the manuscript to my editor: I can't wait to see what she says! I can't wait to get started and tear it apart and make it better better better!! (then, this tiny voice says: what if she LOVES it and there's nothing to do? Bwahahahahaha. Hilarious.)

2. Once I've received the edits, I typically glare at the screen - not at my editor's notes, but my own words. How could I have thought this was any good? Why in the WORLD did my publisher accept this novel? There is EVERYTHING to do. Then I dig in and rearrange, shore up holes, apply pressure to the bleeders. Things get better, but aren't sewn up just yet, the fact of which really ticks me off.

3. I submit the first round, and then I avoid my laptop at all costs for fear I'll delete the whole manuscript on a whim and attempt to pick up a new hobby. True story: A week ago I got a puppy because I couldn't handle the down time of two weeks (fyi - that's like super insano lightspeed in the publishing world) between round one and round two. I am an idiot, a busy idiot who is now training a very energetic 4 month old dog.

4. I received the second round of content/overview edits. While the second round is usually lighter, I have found that with Moonlit and Windswept, they make me dig deeper. The first round merely made incisions in the body. The second round probes for the source of the bleed. And boy howdy does it bleed. Everywhere. You'd think by the second round of edits the major cuts were over. Nope.

5. And then, the best feeling on earth: Here it is! This is the giant traffic jam/plot hole to nowhere/personality disorder my manuscript is suffering from. And this is my favorite part, because now that I've identified the offender, I can seek and destroy it faster than that very energetic puppy can rip up a pair of undies. In Windswept, Tanzy opens the sequel with an axe to grind and a very large chip on her shoulder. That big heart of hers was nowhere in sight. The original opening not only made Tanzy practically unlikeable, but also foiled her emotional development in the rest of the story. Tanzy's journey in Windswept has a lot in store for her, and if she's already burned up inside by page 10, we have no where to go. Once I realized I'd plugged the wound in Tanzy's bleeding heart with my own southern-born, grudge-holding, short-fused temper, it was an easy (and lengthy) fix. The story is so much better now that I've taken myself out of the equation

When my editor - who I adore, okay worship... possibly stalk... anyways, when she suggested I soften Tanzy I thought: had she forgotten how Moonlit ended? Wouldn't she be royally brassed off if someone had pulled the pin on the grenade of her life and walked away? In truth, I have no idea how my awesome editor would handle the situation in reality, but I'd also forgotten how Tanzy would handle it, and put too much of myself in the opening chapters. There's a reason I'm not a heroine in a book somewhere.

We still have work to do. In truth, I was a little intimidated by the sequel as a whole. I have fans - actual, legitimate, they-don't-know-me-outside-of-this-book fans. What if Windswept doesn't deliver? What if I'm not good, I was just... lucky? The story line is so different, the pace so blinding... Then I think back to the state Moonlit was in pre-edits, the holes, the weak places, the choppy sections, and I realize we're right on track with Windswept. We still have work to do, and I'm sure I'll stumble around a few times and eat my way out of a writer's block or two. But I'm finally learning all of those steps and feelings and frustrations and breakthroughs are just par for the course.

Sharing is caring: what tips do you have for an author in the editing stage? Tell us about what you're up to, too!